Trust, for lack of anything better

Spent awhile last evening worrying about my physical state - not only MS but also a pinched nerve in my back, hands that seem to be getting increasingly clumsy/numb, etc. I fret about where MS is going to hijack my body. It's gotten so that a wheelchair seems like a positive, almost welcome outcome, when compared with total dependence on others, or a nursing home.

However, after a pretty extravagant pity party, I realized that there was nothing I could really do to influence the outcome, other than the measures I'm already taking (physical therapy, exercise, diet, etc). I got to the point where I broke down and gave up. God, I have no idea where we're headed. Please go with me where-ever that is. Without much effort at all, I can forecast some pretty rough seas ahead. I'm worried that I may eventually be alone in this struggle. Not that anyone is deserting me, just reading Job too much. I need to know that you will hold me all the way.

I told you I could throw an incredible pity party. Thanks for coming. I promise - no parting gifts - right now, I don't think I should share much of what I've got.

Hmmm. That was the answer that I got last night - look outward and help others. There are those worse off. The analyst in me worries about getting involved in something and then having to stop for health reasons. The "faither" in me says cut the worrying and get started.

Hmmmm..... Stay tuned.